it rained today. It poured down as I left my bed and began to drill away all the worries. It washed and fell and cleansed like I so dearly wanted. A few days ago I did what needed to be done. I broke up with the boy, we broke up, mutual. I should have got it all out then, but I didn't. These past few days a have been like the Great Niagra falls.
Countless glittering diamonds
Precious drops of pain
And now after the rain I am relieved, I am cleansed, I am free of the burden of one who doesn't love you back.
The rain came. The rain after the fire. The fire of my pain and anger.
Cleansed
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
sour
it was so sweet, warm and beautiful. is it possibly a case of out of sight out of heart? Perhaps it was a marathon text session with a wrong number last night, but for some reason i'm craving the taste of his presence in my life far less than i thought was reasonable. Perhaps the honeymoon is truly over... my mind wanders from him, not quite to another but he has ceased his vigil in my mind.
can i pray for passion to be re-ignited before my fire truly dwindles beyond a change of re-kindling. I'm worried.
can i pray for passion to be re-ignited before my fire truly dwindles beyond a change of re-kindling. I'm worried.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
order and chaos
currently its a water-whirl of emotion and infectivity. If it wasn't enough that this semester is going ahead like a freight train with me running my hardest behind to keep up, I hit a road block. They still don't know what it is but somewhere some virus is trying to attack me in the best way it can find.
Exhausted I'm facing the last weeks of semester and feelings are overwhelming me. The times to come that I'm avoiding are looming ahead like a tsunami and the wind in my face and breathing down my throat is laden with the thickness of water. I'm drowning. Perhaps because I have no energy to fight the water's pull below me. To top it off in my lashings against the current i lashed out at the girl who shares this house. Typical for a woman of her mold its world war three in her eyes while all i'm trying to do is live day by day and keep my head above water with what little energy i have left.
In my carefully planned out ordered world it has turned out to be chaotic anyway. I just hope I can find a buoy to cling onto and relieve the never-ending fight. My boy does offer some comfort though; my buoy with the clattering bell.
Exhausted I'm facing the last weeks of semester and feelings are overwhelming me. The times to come that I'm avoiding are looming ahead like a tsunami and the wind in my face and breathing down my throat is laden with the thickness of water. I'm drowning. Perhaps because I have no energy to fight the water's pull below me. To top it off in my lashings against the current i lashed out at the girl who shares this house. Typical for a woman of her mold its world war three in her eyes while all i'm trying to do is live day by day and keep my head above water with what little energy i have left.
In my carefully planned out ordered world it has turned out to be chaotic anyway. I just hope I can find a buoy to cling onto and relieve the never-ending fight. My boy does offer some comfort though; my buoy with the clattering bell.
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